Thursday, January 27, 2011

Tip Thursday - As IF!

    Today's Blog Tour Stops:

    I'll be visiting two lovely ladies today :)
    Jemi Fraser
    Kristal Shaff

    Stop by and comment for more entries in the super Grand Prize Giveaway! Only a few more days of the blog tour before I do the drawing so don't delay :D

    Now...for today's tip I've got something I'm not sure I agree with :D

    "As" phrases....

    As in - "Veronica burst into tears as she slammed the door."

    Or - "She sobbed as if her heart were broken."

    When I was just a baby writer, I was told that relying on "as" phrases was a sign of an amateur writer because these phrases can almost always be rewritten without the "as". Using these phrases was laziness on the part of the writer, a crutch. Being very fond of "as" phrases, that stung a little.

    Now, I get the point. Sure...most of the time these can be rewritten. Like:

    "Veronica burst into tears and slammed the door." And "She sobbed, her heart breaking a little more with every tear."

    UPDATE: (for those who aren't fans of "and" :D here is another option that gets rid of the "as") "Veronica burst into tears, slamming the door behind her."

    But is that necessarily a better, stronger sentence because of the absence of the word "as"? Maybe...maybe not.


    Since it was something I did overuse once upon a time, I do try to rewrite those sentences whenever they crop up in my writing. I do agree that these phrases, like anything else, can be overused. If you have an "as-fest" going on, it's going to stand out in a negative way. But that is true of any word or phrase. And frankly, sometimes the "as" just sounds better.

    So is using "as" a sign of an amateur or lazy writer? I don't think so. But...I'll still try to avoid them when I can :)

    What do you think of "as" phrases? Have you ever been told what I was told about them?

Post Title

Tip Thursday - As IF!


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https://shortemohaircuts2011.blogspot.com/2011/01/tip-thursday-as-if.html


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